I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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