I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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