Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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