I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
