hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
