Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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