I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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