return my video game
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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