okay pat passed out under dana's car
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
