your room smells of hookers.
And success
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
