That's when you crack a 10am beer
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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