I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
