Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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