Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
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I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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