Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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