Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
