But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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