i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
