i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
