dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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