who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
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Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
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Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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