I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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