thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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