I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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