My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
