ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Randomize
