The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well I just put wine in my tea
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
