So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
