i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
