some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
this beer tastes like vomit already
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just found puke in my bra..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Houston, we have a blender
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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