How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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