Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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