i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
