Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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