You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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