Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
