then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
