I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
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id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
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Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.