So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.