so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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