fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
