I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
