You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
