I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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