sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
