I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
