ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize