Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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