There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
