how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
