Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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