I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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