Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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