Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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