I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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