I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My vagina is officially offended.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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