Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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