Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
