I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
