Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
