You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
