Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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