How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We don't watch enough power rangers
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
