Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if only i could text you this smell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
NoShamevember. You game?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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